I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
