I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
