gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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