Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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