Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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