Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
