well I can't set my house on fire every night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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