It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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