They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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