Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
