she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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