her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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