We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
