I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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