No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
