Don't you send me to vm
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
