nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
