he wants to bone in the snuggie
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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