You just made me feel so damn special
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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