so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
