I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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