I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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