Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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