dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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