went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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