I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your cock deserves a montage
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
