I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
