if i can run in heels then i can drive
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
