He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize