Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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