The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dicks are not precious.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize