none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
