Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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