So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
