1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
