my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
