if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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