Yo dont text me then not text me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
