Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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