who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
