Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
