This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
