he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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