with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
