throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
