I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize