Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
