i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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