So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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