Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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