Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
