My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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