i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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