She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
