Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
