Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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